so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
high people should be assigned attendants
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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