just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
