Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
