Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
