I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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