We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
