Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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