yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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