K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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