I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
A+ Viking dick
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