Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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