once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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