1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
