The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i just had sex bonerless
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
