Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
