new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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