guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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