just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
