Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
