we're blogging at a bar
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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