for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
