Are we in a gay sports bar?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
