Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
