You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
3 2 1 whiskey
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
