Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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