did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
