Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
