And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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