Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
