But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
