what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I think people are normalizing furries
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
