no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
