Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Houston, we have a blender
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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