I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
