Don't you send me to vm
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
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