perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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