is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
