What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
