I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
