Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
