You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im holly from the hills drunk
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
