U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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