I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
