New invention idea: vibrating tampons
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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