What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
