he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
