I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
