You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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