This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
