i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
