remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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