Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
