i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
