we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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