I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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