I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
