whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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